Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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