Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
we should paint friendship bongs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
