Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
