I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
