Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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