he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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