We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
