I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
