babies were throwing up all over the place
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
