did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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