so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
