I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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