Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
