i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
tell me about the eggs
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
