Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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