Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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