can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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