My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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