I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
