Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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