Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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