hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
