so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
