I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
