Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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