he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
