did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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