sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
