This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
