I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
