i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
