I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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