white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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