Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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