How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You've changed since you got that strap on
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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