and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
