My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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