I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
