i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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