Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
