id be glad to
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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