I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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