she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The air taste purple.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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