How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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