Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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