Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
