It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
