why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
