thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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