A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
