hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
