I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
