he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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