Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
