I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
