She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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