you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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