my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I will be naked everywhere
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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